Wax
by FenOnFire
Summary: Arcee is surprised by human grooming habits. One-shot fluff.


Enjoy this silly bit of fluff about girls waxing.

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><p>Arcee picked up the buffer and her little jar of wax. She'd been looking a little dingy lately, and the protective coating was pretty much worn out- the day before she noticed a little flaking paint by one of the seams in her shoulder. <em>I guess I've put it off long enough.<em> Waxing, even when necessary, tended to be seen as vain. But she couldn't let herself get all rusted up, now, could she? Nope. So out came the wax kit. The little buffer spun and shone her face, and as soon as she'd gotten her head done she started on her arms.

"Hey! You're waxing too?" a cheery voice echoed. Arcee turned to see Miko, who was carrying a little jar, some paper, and little wooden ovals.

"Yes, I am." _Humans wax?_

Miko plopped down on the sofa, and used the wooden sticks to smear some of the purple goo on her leg. Then she put a strip of paper over the mess and pressed it flat. She waited, and grabbed the bottom edge of the paper. "I really hate this part..." she said. Before Arcee could stop her, she violently ripped the paper off, pulling the dried wax with it. Little tiny hairs stuck to it, and Miko's skin was a little reddened by the act.

"What are you doing?" the femme asked, as Miko smeared the next layer down. "Doesn't that hurt?"

"A little. Don't worry, it's no big deal, lots of girls do it."

Arcee realized she'd been holding the buffer in the air the whole time, and now there was a little misty layer of wax surrounding her. She dipped it in the wax and started buffing her opposite arm, then her torso. She watched Miko rip off more hair, all the way up to the hem of her shorts, and then her own arms. _Humans are insane._ "Miko, why are you doing that to yourself?"

Miko looked at her like she'd said the sky was green. "Because it looks good..? Why are you?"

"It protects me from environmental damage. Dust, water, things like that."

"So it's not just for looks?"

"No. Well, not for most of us," she laughed, thinking of a certain vain Decepticon...

"Oh. And here I thought we were having a girl day."

"Is there something you'd like to do?"

"Sure, just let me get my face done." To Arcee's growing surprise, the young girl did the same thing to her face, even carefully shaping the eyebrows. Arcee had never paid much attention to human grooming rituals, and had assumed human femmes naturally looked like that. Finally, Miko rubbed some blue liquid onto the freshly-waxed skin, and began to put on eyeshadow. "How do I look?"

"Very nice. If you don't mind my asking, what's the point of removing your body hair? Isn't it supposed to be there?"

"Yeah, but it's ugly and it traps body odor. I wish guys would do it more, instead of running around with, like, gorilla legs and gross Austin Powers chest."

Arcee did not know who Austin Powers was. An internet search showed that he was a character in a series of popular comedy films, and one of his (apparently) funny traits was his thick body hair. It was attractive to femmes, and this was very funny for some reason. But hair on femmes was unattractive? Or sometimes it was..?

Why did humans place such significance on their hair? It made no sense! Hair told an observer anything from political, cultural, and religious practices to musical preference and physical health. On several parts of Earth, the bride and groom were expected to remove all their body hair when they were married as a sort of ceremonial rebirth. Some places shaved the hair off the heads of one or both bondmates, for the exact same reason. Arcee found it all grimly fascinating.

She put the wax and buffer brush away, glad the thin layer had dried and did not need to be peeled off. Miko hopped off the couch. "Ooh, I know! Let's go see a movie! The drive-in is playing Miss Congeniality." She thought about something. "Wait, it's going to rain tonight. That won't work..."

"Why don't we bring Bumblebee? It won't be just us girls, but you won't get rained on."

"Okay, that works! By the way, you missed a spot."

Arcee threw up her hands. "I'll worry about it later." She'd been cooped up long enough. It would be nice to go do something fun.

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><p><em>Later...<em>

The movie was fun, Arcee conceded. She didn't understand most of the cultural context, but her speedy internet searches after the film were quite revealing. Sometimes accidentally.

Hey! Is that Knockout behind us? Bumblebee pinged. It was... They dumped Miko in a safe hiding place, and had a brief tussle with the Decepticon, who was just as surprised to see them as they were to see him. Soon Knockout had no choice but to retreat. Just before he left, the vain mech's optics fell on Arcee, and he smirked, biting back laughter.

"What?" she said in a dangerously low voice.

"You missed a spot!"


End file.
